10 Awesome Perks of Uniquely Compatible Relationships

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One of the most common things I hear people say about relationships is that we have to make do with the bad times so that we can enjoy the good ones. It’s tough, but it’s worth it. No one is perfect and no relationship is either.

While this may be true for lots of couples, I believe that it’s not the only reality we should settle for. If we have a desire to be involved in an extraordinary relationship moulded after both partners’ combined peculiarities, we should be on the lookout as this type of idiosyncratic connection is achievable.

I think we can find a partner that is uniquely compatible with us with whom we can sustain an absolutely amazing relationship. By uniquely compatible I mean someone that FEELS incredible to be with, every moment of every day. Feels is a keyword as, beyond what our minds can comprehend, uniquely compatible relationships are characterised by an energetic match that ensures an incredible smoothness and flow.

I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t experience it. I was fortunate to meet my uniquely compatible partner and I discovered a new way of living and being in a relationship.

My wish is for more people to know that we don’t need to settle for debilitating relationships when we can improve the quality of our lives by being with someone who is uniquely right for us.

Here are ten amazing things you can experience in a uniquely compatible relationship:

  1. There are no quarrels. 

This one still blows my mind, but it’s true. My partner and I do not engage in quarrels, ever. We just don’t get that initial spark that starts the fire of intense disagreement. We do have differing views and long debates, but we get each other’s point and it’s easy for us to accept it and learn from each other.

  1. There are no petty feelings exchanged.

You know those awful little moments when we feel anger, jealousy, disapproval or contempt? Every relationship has them and it can sometimes become a struggle to keep them in check. Well, you don’t have to deal with them anymore if you’re with your uniquely compatible partner. One’s own flawed nature might still push through, but love finds a way to overpower those petty traits. It just happens naturally.

  1. Being together is refreshing.

I have lots of friends who need a “break” from their partner. In order to be with their loved one, they have to be away regularly. This is not the case for my partner and I. It’s mind-blowing, really. Every encounter is meaningful and invigorating.

  1. You can’t screw up.

In my previous relationships, I would often feel like I said or did the wrong thing and disturbed the fine balance of daily “relationship survival”. However, when my partner and I first started dating, we realised that regardless of what is said or done, the connection is stronger and will keep us happy and thriving. We don’t really stumble at those small roadblocks.

  1. You feel connected even when you are physically apart.

Usually, if the relationship is rocky, being away from your partner intensifies the lacks and can feel torturous. Not if you’re with the right person. You’ll feel comfortable, safe and happy. You’ll get a surge of energy every time you think about them and it feels as if you’re near them.

  1. Being with your partner has a healing effect.

In some relationships being with your partner will sometimes give you headaches. That’s when guys go for a beer and ladies do some heavy shopping. But you don’t have to worry about that as spending time with your uniquely compatible partner will boost your health and energy levels.

  1. Partners are telepathic.

This happens to everyone in long-term relationships after a while, but we’ve had this from the start and have maintained it. It’s really fun and amazing. It becomes the new normal after a while.

  1. You feel safe.

Life feels safe, you notice signs and synchronicities and things work out effortlessly. This feels very different from usual relationships where due to problems and daily concerns, life may feel unpredictable and gloomy. Not feeling safe with your partner makes you question other facets of life. Being with the right partner will make you trust life.

  1. You accept and appreciate yourself more.

Being with someone who loves you as you are, respects you no matter what and puts you first despite the odds, will make you see yourself in a brighter light. It takes time, but it’s a wonderful journey of self-discovery.

  1. You evolve.

Once you experience this kind of unique connection with your partner, you will open up to finding that flow in other areas of your life such as your friendships, schooling, work etc. You may still see the state of many negative things around you, but you know life can be magical, synchronistic and profound which gives you hope and perspective.

Had I read this article some years ago, I would have dismissed as an uninspired fairy tale. No one had ever described their relationship in this way. Now that I know this to be true, I hope to see more people looking for that unique compatibility rather than making choices based on preconceived notions of relationship (un)happiness.

Photo by Hans-Peter Gauster on Unsplash.

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A Very Personal Day

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As I’m getting ready to welcome a new day, I have a vision of an untouched stretch of immaculate snowy terrain. All I have to do is gear up, start walking and enjoy whatever lies ahead.

But as I start moving, one of my feet sinks too deep and I lose balance. I fall, face flat, unable to breathe for a while. I compose myself and continue, but it’s not long before the snow starts melting before me and a totally different landscape appears. The ground is filled with large, chunky, rusty scraps of everything. Before long, what I thought would be a perfect day, becomes an obstacle race and I can barely catch my breath to get to the end.

For a moment, I stop and consider whether I should just turn back. After all, it’s all but fair that I should be misled to think it would be easy, that my day would just be a walk in a snowy fairyland. And who left all that crap there anyway? People should just clean up after themselves.

It doesn’t take me long to realise there’s no one else around. That junk that’s getting in my way all the time hasn’t been placed there by someone else. It’s a form of long-forgotten residue that has a particular signature – my own.

Very few things we encounter throughout a day that affect us deeply have to do with those around us. We walk our hero’s journey throughout an ordinary day in a uniquely envisioned space that we create and recreate within the boundaries of our own perception. When we encounter daily obstacles, instead of dreading the mishap, we can ask ourselves what have we to learn from the diversion.

We naturally tend to blame anyone but ourselves for everything that displeases or impacts us in an undesired way. With a small tweak in our perception, we can turn our point of awareness within ourselves, into the incredible inner landscape from which all outside reality is reflected. If we are able to learn how to navigate that personal maze and learn to understand ourselves deeply, our extrinsic environment will have no real power over us and will be much easier to cruise through.

Photo by Abigail Keenan

Small Dreams

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We dream big and we dream small. Big dreams push us forward, alluring, tempting, always out of reach, but surely there – winking, waving, smiling at us.

Small dreams make up our day to day lives. Enjoying that long-awaited conversation with your best friend, your cuddly bed on a dire morning, an unexpected raise, a good book, a breather…

I was a big dream addict and, in all honesty, all my big dreams came true. But there was a cost to pay. The cost was time. Every single big dream of mine took literally years to become a part of my reality. Many times, I talk about “cooking”. It’s still cooking, give it a while.

Looking back, that longing for the big dream was painful. You want it, you can’t have it now and all the wisdom in the world doesn’t lessen the itching wait. This crude longing for what we don’t have yet is a constant that not even age can tame. Yet, time did teach me something about the amount of focus I entertain my big and small dreams with.

Nowadays, with less energy to spread in all directions, I’m being calculative with how much time I spend dreaming big. What takes priority is what I am experiencing right now. The minor things I love come first. Once I’m in the middle of doing something seemingly insignificant, I’m happy. All the rest can wait. Gratitude? Necessity? It’s somewhere along those lines.

If you’re feeling like you’re racing with yourself and with life most of the time, I hope to inspire you to take a breather and observe what small joys you’re experiencing on a day to day basis. Stick with them and see what gifts they bring. Big dreams are always there, but it’s the small ones that can add value and meaning to being alive, awake, joyful.

Photo by David Marcu

Raw Conversations

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Authenticity is a word that is easily thrown around these days. When I first discovered this concept quite a while back, I got very excited and started a quest of finding what it meant to me. Although there’s always more to discover, I’m pretty content with the results of my searches and feel like being myself whenever, wherever is not an issue anymore.

Together with a desire to save appearances, I lost interest in having dry conversations just to fill the quiet space. I gained more room for listening and, even when I wasn’t, I could still hear more than I expected. Beyond every conversation lies a deeper one that talks about existential life issues. Often, there is a big question lurking in the background. It surfaces in different ways in the things we say and how we say them.

It’s sometimes a challenge to attend the spectacle of appearances where we say things without really saying them, draw a lipstick smile to cover up a grimace or speak incessantly and loudly weaving our hands as if to chase away anything too raw. There is a right time for all of us to go deeper and get real with our fears and desires, it’s not about how long it takes. However, being authentic can begin with small steps and what better place to start than casual social contexts.

It’s okay not to smile, it’s okay not to talk all the time, it’s okay to feel uncomfortable. As long as you are real to your moment, to your journey, to your deep fears and secret joys, that will transpire and a whole new type of conversation may arise.

Authenticity is an overused word nowadays. But the strong urge behind it is more necessary than ever. What’s the use of pleasantries when we’re bleeding inside? A happier, truer life awaits not in fixing everything that seems broken, but in accepting and being open about who we are, what hurts us and what we secretly long for.

Photo by Matthew Henry.

 

A Leap of Faith

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Being the artist of your own life implies taking constant leaps of faith. It’s a very personal journey that often those around you won’t be able to grasp. The last thing to do is to seek validation from outside.

I meet people who seem to struggle with how complicated their life has become almost every day. Things took a strange turn one faithful day and the opposite of the expected happened – peace was lost. What seemed like a wonderful, hope-filled decision, turned out to be the beginning of a partially-revealed nightmare.

You thought this was best for you, and although it’s not all bad, you are as far away from happy as can be.

You tried to get some support from those around you but you’re battling on two fields. On one hand, you’re trying to make yourself believe that what goes on in your life right now is somewhat normal and it’s somehow going to get better. You need people to tell you it’s going to get better. On the other hand, you want someone to tell you that you’re right. The situation stinks and the only way out is taking a step in a different direction and starting anew, no matter what complex choices and turns that would imply.

You spend so many hours of your day trying to fix things, fix things, fix things. Mostly in your imagination, talking to yourself, as in real life nothing ever seems to improve. You’ve been stuck in this situation for so long that nothing else seems like an option. You keep going, shouldering a nagging feeling that something’s not right. Every day, without a break.

You already know you’re not the only one. You already know life is tough in worse ways for many out there. You’ve heard those around you complaining about the exact same things and telling you this is it, work with what you’ve got. But you also know this is not you. This sad, fake, complicated situation is just not you. You created it, you pushed for it, you took the wrong decision. You didn’t know any better, but now you do. Now you can see it clearly. What next? What happens next? You have to make a decision supported by firm actions. Most probably it’s something your close ones will disagree with. It’s big and it’s messy. You’ll be alone for a while and there are no guarantees you’ll have any real support.

You know that no matter how long you’ll continue to drag things, this step is the real next step to be taken regardless of all the dances and hops you’ve distracted yourself with along the way.

Will you wait?

Will you do it?

Photo by Edu Lauton

A New Cycle of Life

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I can’t recall the last time I was unhappy.

Recently, I’ve had this odd feeling that life is compartmentalised. I recall my childhood, it feels like aeons ago. There was high school and uni. Working life started, but it felt seamless. What stood out was my complex relationship. Always on my mind, always seeking, never finding. Tagging along and moving abroad, a smooth adventure with many lessons. Culmination – a breakup. Starting over.

Then something changed, permanently. I stopped being unhappy. I looked at my new life from different angles and the result was always the same. I’m good. I’m feeling good. The newness of this state shook me. I started talking about miracles, synchronicities, angels and the likes. Everything was possible if feeling like this was possible.

Now, years later, the sense of wonder remains, yet I also get a new sense of moving on. Everyone is moving on. Ties to the past have blended into what feels like “old life”. They say this year marks the beginning of a new cycle. There’s something in the air and it hints to doingness. A universal voice is calling out, “Do it, do it, do it.” It talks about assuming the role of the artist of your own life, about being creative and putting yourself out there.

Whether we’re in search of happiness or finding ways to share it, this year has summoned us, loud and clear. Can you sense it?

While we’re figuring our way through the maze, I would love to hear about your plans and intentions for this year.

Love,

Diana

Photo by Alice Achterhof