One of my greatest issues that I faced for many years was dealing with doubt. I wouldn’t want to narrow down my inability for decision-making to my zodiac sign, but it seemed to me that I was forever weighing at least two options on my slightly dysfunctional inner scale without being able to make a quick decision about which was the right choice.
Ironically, I’m still dealing with this nowadays, not when it comes to big issues, but when I have to make the fastest and most unimportant choices.
In the past though, doubt seemed to haunt me whenever an important decision was about to be made. So many options made sense, or none did, or two were equally better than a third, or all choices seemed to be too bleak to even be considered. These doubts crept in when it came to everyday situations where I felt that I was always less equipped than others to see the right choices for myself.
Then, there were the BIG DOUBTS. Big doubts are about life-changing decisions. About paths to take and paths to leave behind. Big doubts make us face major questions and dealing with them wisely can set us at a turning point in our awareness.
I’ve learnt that the moment a doubt emerges, a part of us submerges. In the key moment when we start doubting which way to go, two perceptions are formed, with their own distinct energies: the hopeful space and the feared space.
The hopeful space is the more appealing one as it presents choices that are within reach and that don’t require too many changes.
The feared space is shrouded in the unknown. It requires taking a major step that will bring about changes which seem to be entirely out of our control.
The fear of the unknown, of losing control over our life and of being out of our comfort zone will often make us disregard the feared space almost instantaneously. This uncertain space awakens so much anxiety within us that we stop considering it as a viable option and start reflecting on other choices framed within the hopeful space.
The moment we start to be in doubt and look for a positive change is a sign we are ready to step into a new level of growth in our lives. Something was good enough, but for obvious reasons, it started working against us and deep down we know it’s time for a change. Maybe we’ve known it for a long time, but it is now that it has become outrageously obvious and impossible to ignore.
But when a crossroad is presented on our path, we often choose the road well-travelled. We know what we want, but it’s just too frightening to go down the less trodden path, so we start making up easier options. These new options we create are almost always non-beneficial and impede us on our journey to growth.
Standing in front of the mysterious trail, our intuition slowly submerges under the weight of doubt. Deep down, we know which way we are to go and what it is that we need at this point in our life. We can hear the soft voice that speaks our truth, yet this faint whisper is very often drowned by fear. It can take years until we allow this voice to emerge from the depths of our heart and invite it to guide us on our true path.
I am faced with making decisions every day, but when in doubt, I now try to take any of the following steps:
1. Listen to my intuitive thoughts without rationalising too much.
2. Go with the choice that seems less comfortable.
3. Write a simple prayer where I ask Life to guide me to the best choice.
4. Give myself time to make the choice when I am ready.
5. Go with either choice to test and see what happens, and then I take it from there.
I would like to end with sharing that one of the lessons I have to learn every day, again and again, is that fear is not real in itself. And that when we choose to walk along our most feared path, no matter how uncertain things seem, that is the moment we receive all the strength and support we need from Life itself. Then, and only then, everything works out as we’ve always hoped it would.