All That We Need

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When I meet people, I sometimes get strong impressions of their inner realities. A common theme that seems to show up is a sense of lack of control in the midst of undesired events. A kind of frustration mixed with anger and dissatisfaction. A sense of rejection of what is, which makes the outer circumstances appear chaotic and detrimental. Most importantly, a rejection of what part we play in where we are in our present circumstances.

When we encounter this kind of solid resistance within ourselves, it might help to remember that it is impossible to gain a sense of peace and balance in our life and relationships without finding that place in our heart first. Life calls us to identify our role in co-creating reality as we know it. Without embarking on an inner exploration for answers, the outside world will often seem to work against us.

We spend so much time daydreaming about a different reality. If only we were there instead of here and if we had this instead of that, then we would be happy. This is one of the most common messages I’m getting from my daily conversations.

I want to share this quote with you and to invite you to reflect whether it would really be likely for you to feel happy in an alternate reality, yet having the same heart and level of awareness.

“Maybe happiness is this: not feeling that you should be elsewhere, doing something else, being someone else.”

― Eric Weiner, The Geography of Bliss: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World

One precious insight I hold dearly, that is available to one and all, is the awareness of how complete and important the present moment is. The present moment is our life, in its entirety. It is us, past, present and future. It is this moment that offers us everything we wish to experience, if we just open up to it.

This opening up to the gifts of here and now is a journey in itself. The way I go about it is through taking small steps to become aware.

Step 1: Expressing gratitude

Thank you, dear God, for allowing me to be here now.

Step 2: Seeing connections

I am aware that I have participated in creating my life as it is now.

Step 3: Acknowledging possibilities

I am aware that I can change anything in my life by choosing to do so and actively moving towards my goals.

Step 4: Trusting the divine order

I am aware that the time it takes for me to change things in my life is the exact time I need.

Step 5: Taking a step back

I take a step back from my needs and wants, trying to stay aware that everything I want to experience through the changes I want to make in my life is already inside me, here and now.

In a previous post I mentioned how I found happiness through finding the right person to walk with on this life journey. But the kind of happiness I found in my relationship was the effect of what I had caused in my life prior to that.

Before allowing for the right relationship to be manifested, I spent a turbulent year crawling through murky experiences as if in a nonsensical dream, not knowing where it would all lead to. Fortunately, through God’s grace, those experiences lead me to myself. I reached a point where I understood everything I had caused to happen in my life and how it all lead to here and now. Cause and effect. No one to blame, nothing to regret, no gaps. I felt lots of gratitude for having been allowed to walk my path, irregardless of what turns I made, and I surrendered to the present moment. It was mine, a gift, it contained everything I had ever experienced and will ever experience. I needed nothing else.

Shortly after that moment of understanding, events in my life started moving forward at a fast pace, supported by external circumstances and synchronicities. There was a break up, shifting homes, starting a new relationship and a change of lifestyle focused more on inner journeys and less on outer experiences.

The constant in all my past and present experiences is my approach on what life presents me with. There are plenty of external factors that are beyond my control. These factors often clash with what experiences I wish to have, yet my focus is always on snapping back up on my feet, trusting and letting go of the need to control. I do this through following the five steps I mentioned above.

I hope this read gives you a glimpse of how to grasp your current circumstances in a positive way, trusting that everything you need is already inside you.

 

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About Hope and Wholeness

It feels so good to be back at my writing desk again.

In the past few months I’ve been piling pieces of writing as drafts without feeling confident to publish any of them.

This break has given me the chance to ask myself why I even put these thoughts out there. Isn’t the web supersaturated with blogs and people who have figured something out that you must know about? Isn’t it all just meaningless cyber clutter?

Since this blog speaks about paths and searching for the one that feels “right”, I wondered what its own path is.

I am so grateful that now, unlike some years back, whenever I ask a question, I am almost always able to hear an answer. I think everyone can, given that we take the time to listen and trust the guidance that may come in the form of a thought, a feeling or an exterior stimulus.

I’ve recently been browsing through some old photos and there I was, smiling in each and every one, trying hard to fit in. But in each of those contexts, without minimising the wonderful moments I’ve been blessed to be a part of, there was a degree of discomfort. It had nothing to do with anyone but myself.

I was living my life with a constant and nagging sense of dissatisfaction. Even while being socially engaged, a myriad of thoughts extended like stubborn tentacles in different directions, not allowing me to be fully happy and present.

A great part was played by my own insecurities and need of acknowledgement from others. To say the least, it was draining. I still managed to be myself and had a sincere wish to be comfortable, but it felt as if my core was scattered, trying to put itself together, moment by moment. Yet, each moment was missing a piece and a part of me, instead of being present, was somewhere out there looking for that missing chunk.

Life is so much more different now. Which brings me to why I created this space of sharing experiences and its path.

As time went by, I took huge leaps trying to pull myself together and feel whole. Things started to slowly, yet drastically change. I’m now living the life I’ve always envisioned. If we meet and chat, I may not be able to share sensational exterior accomplishments as there weren’t any. However, what has changed is how I feel. I feel whole.

From this space of feeling good with myself and with life on a daily basis, I interact with my external environment in ways that are totally different than before, when I was constantly half-disengaged and insecure.

There is a staunch difference between how life felt before and how it feels now. This blog is all about that transformation that led me to where I am today. I don’t want to forget that there was a time when I lived with doubt, fear and lots of questions.

When I lost hope that we can be fully happy as adults, I was blessed with the right people and right resources to inspire me and to show me there is a way. The path of this blog is to pass on that message of hope and wholeness.

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