When I meet people, I sometimes get strong impressions of their inner realities. A common theme that seems to show up is a sense of lack of control in the midst of undesired events. A kind of frustration mixed with anger and dissatisfaction. A sense of rejection of what is, which makes the outer circumstances appear chaotic and detrimental. Most importantly, a rejection of what part we play in where we are in our present circumstances.
When we encounter this kind of solid resistance within ourselves, it might help to remember that it is impossible to gain a sense of peace and balance in our life and relationships without finding that place in our heart first. Life calls us to identify our role in co-creating reality as we know it. Without embarking on an inner exploration for answers, the outside world will often seem to work against us.
We spend so much time daydreaming about a different reality. If only we were there instead of here and if we had this instead of that, then we would be happy. This is one of the most common messages I’m getting from my daily conversations.
I want to share this quote with you and to invite you to reflect whether it would really be likely for you to feel happy in an alternate reality, yet having the same heart and level of awareness.
“Maybe happiness is this: not feeling that you should be elsewhere, doing something else, being someone else.”
― Eric Weiner, The Geography of Bliss: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World
One precious insight I hold dearly, that is available to one and all, is the awareness of how complete and important the present moment is. The present moment is our life, in its entirety. It is us, past, present and future. It is this moment that offers us everything we wish to experience, if we just open up to it.
This opening up to the gifts of here and now is a journey in itself. The way I go about it is through taking small steps to become aware.
Step 1: Expressing gratitude
Thank you, dear God, for allowing me to be here now.
Step 2: Seeing connections
I am aware that I have participated in creating my life as it is now.
Step 3: Acknowledging possibilities
I am aware that I can change anything in my life by choosing to do so and actively moving towards my goals.
Step 4: Trusting the divine order
I am aware that the time it takes for me to change things in my life is the exact time I need.
Step 5: Taking a step back
I take a step back from my needs and wants, trying to stay aware that everything I want to experience through the changes I want to make in my life is already inside me, here and now.
In a previous post I mentioned how I found happiness through finding the right person to walk with on this life journey. But the kind of happiness I found in my relationship was the effect of what I had caused in my life prior to that.
Before allowing for the right relationship to be manifested, I spent a turbulent year crawling through murky experiences as if in a nonsensical dream, not knowing where it would all lead to. Fortunately, through God’s grace, those experiences lead me to myself. I reached a point where I understood everything I had caused to happen in my life and how it all lead to here and now. Cause and effect. No one to blame, nothing to regret, no gaps. I felt lots of gratitude for having been allowed to walk my path, irregardless of what turns I made, and I surrendered to the present moment. It was mine, a gift, it contained everything I had ever experienced and will ever experience. I needed nothing else.
Shortly after that moment of understanding, events in my life started moving forward at a fast pace, supported by external circumstances and synchronicities. There was a break up, shifting homes, starting a new relationship and a change of lifestyle focused more on inner journeys and less on outer experiences.
The constant in all my past and present experiences is my approach on what life presents me with. There are plenty of external factors that are beyond my control. These factors often clash with what experiences I wish to have, yet my focus is always on snapping back up on my feet, trusting and letting go of the need to control. I do this through following the five steps I mentioned above.
I hope this read gives you a glimpse of how to grasp your current circumstances in a positive way, trusting that everything you need is already inside you.