The Bothersome Playmate


There was a time in my life when many things felt like a struggle. Being myself was the biggest one. There was incessant longing, confusion and restlessness. Life feels so much more different now and I am thankful for that every day.

Although I am now able to tackle most personal challenges positively, there is one loyal comrade that has faithfully stuck around, spicing things up when it gets too comfortable. We meet often, but our encounters have somehow retained the element of the unexpected. We have co-existed through time in a relationship that has shifted from unhealthy co-dependency to a more peaceful, resigned acceptance. FEAR, the one element deeply embedded in the tapestry of my life that will lend a helping hand whenever it is not called upon.

It took me a large portion of my life to figure out that most of what we deem negative stems from fear and from a lack of understanding of how it shapes us.

I used to think judgement was my great sin that needed proper handling and lots of attention. Whenever I became unhappy or started over-analysing those around me, I knew it stemmed from judgement. Judgement got bashed and trashed, and sent to a corner to think about its actions. But there came a point when I had to question where judgement itself originated from.

Although it retains a hopeful message, “Love is the answer” is by now a platitude. But I think it’s important to look at the other side of the coin when things get rough and see that very often fear presents the answer instead. The former asks us to be more without giving us the map, while the latter shows us the way within the intricate labyrinth of our inner reality.

On my own journey, I came to see how fear is a supreme driving factor, yet it lies underneath, disguised in many forms. Most of the time, why certain fears are present in our structure is a mystery and it’s not always possible to get to the bottom of the vast pit. But one thing that undoubtedly works like magic is shining the light of awareness on the secret mechanics of how fear drives us.

All it takes is saying, “Oh, hello, my friend. You are here, I see you.” The intensity of whatever we are feeling decreases instantly and we are able to become more neutral, more objective, more impartial, more detached. Whatever reasons we think drive us, take a new paler shade and we can take a step back to make better choices for each moment.

Fear is not to be hated, denied or put aside. Fear is an ally on our journey through life; a reliable source of personal revelations and purpose.

Today, I invite you to take a gentle step back and start observing how fear shapes your life, and how you can turn it into a valuable, even if bothersome, playmate.



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