Raw Conversations

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Authenticity is a word that is easily thrown around these days. When I first discovered this concept quite a while back, I got very excited and started a quest of finding what it meant to me. Although there’s always more to discover, I’m pretty content with the results of my searches and feel like being myself whenever, wherever is not an issue anymore.

Together with a desire to save appearances, I lost interest in having dry conversations just to fill the quiet space. I gained more room for listening and, even when I wasn’t, I could still hear more than I expected. Beyond every conversation lies a deeper one that talks about existential life issues. Often, there is a big question lurking in the background. It surfaces in different ways in the things we say and how we say them.

It’s sometimes a challenge to attend the spectacle of appearances where we say things without really saying them, draw a lipstick smile to cover up a grimace or speak incessantly and loudly weaving our hands as if to chase away anything too raw. There is a right time for all of us to go deeper and get real with our fears and desires, it’s not about how long it takes. However, being authentic can begin with small steps and what better place to start than casual social contexts.

It’s okay not to smile, it’s okay not to talk all the time, it’s okay to feel uncomfortable. As long as you are real to your moment, to your journey, to your deep fears and secret joys, that will transpire and a whole new type of conversation may arise.

Authenticity is an overused word nowadays. But the strong urge behind it is more necessary than ever. What’s the use of pleasantries when we’re bleeding inside? A happier, truer life awaits not in fixing everything that seems broken, but in accepting and being open about who we are, what hurts us and what we secretly long for.

Photo by Matthew Henry.

 

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2 thoughts on “Raw Conversations

  1. “What’s the use of pleasantries when we’re bleeding inside? A happier, truer life awaits not in fixing everything that seems broken, but in accepting and being open about who we are, what hurts us and what we secretly long for.”

    Couldn’t agree more with these words!
    For a long time, way too long, I was stuck living two lives: one at home and the other outside. It was exhausting and it made me depressed and miserable. It took me a while to learn who I am, what I want from my life and that I have to always put myself first. A huge rock came off my shoulders when I started to be honest with myself and realized that I have to leave a very broken life behind.
    Not being authentic with yourself is like stealing from your own wallet 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for this great comment!
    “Not being authentic with yourself is like stealing from your own wallet.” – That’s just brilliant!
    I appreciate your honesty in sharing your past experience. I can also relate to that. We dream, we hope, we create outcome through our choices. But there’s a threshold when our choices don’t feel right and we decide to ignore the knowing. That’s the weight that many carry – the ignorance of the deep effects of our intended choices.
    I envision and would like to have a contribution to a future where more support is provided for individuals who experience a turning point. We still feel the ties and chains of the old world where making new choices can be tainted by blame and shame.
    I now find it close to impossible to integrate the old way of living where everything moves in a straight line from A to Z. Growth can happen exponentially and we need new values and systems to support our organic human nature which needs creativity and a loving environment of co-creation to flourish and expand.
    It’s refreshing to notice how our journeys to authenticity and awareness illuminate us. As I’m reading your words, it’s as if the difference between your past experience and the benefits of your new choices and new life is almost palpable. To me, energy has weight. The more authentically we live, the lighter we feel (inside but also to others). It takes a leap, but it’s so worth it!

    Like

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